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Update as of October 2013

It’s been awhile…here’s life of late:

Constant Compression

I look back through this blog and wow, it’s been almost a full calendar year since I last wrote.

It’s emotional actually – I see where I was, what I was doing, and of course the theme/topic of this blog (my day to day with chronic back and neck issues) still gets to me.

I’m not really sure where to start, so I guess I’ll just provide some insight into what life is looking like now…

In August 2013, I moved to Madison, WI for a consulting position with an insurance company. Never in a million years would I have predicted this – and by “this” I mean pretty much everything. As of now:

– I work in a corporate office 8:30-5:30 each day (which brings lots of physical challenges, which I’m sure I’ll write more about soon).

– I live in Madison, WI — Chicago was the only place…

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Wonderin’

This song describes much of my inner monologue. There are so many moments in a day where I wonder, and so many more where I wonder about the people I love and care about. Hope you enjoy this as much as I did. Thanks to David Kanigan for another great post! Check out his experiences at: davidkanigan.com

Live & Learn

Changes from Bart van der Gaag on Vimeo.


“Wonderin” is performed by Nicole Reynolds – a Happy, peppy song wrapped with a soothing nature clip to wind down a long day.


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Adventures of a Cardboard Box

Hi Everyone,

I came across this short video and just had to share it.

The Adventures of a Cardboard Box (Credit: Studiocanoe)

Hugs,

Sarah

Grattitude

Last weekend I attended i Heart Faces‘ photography conference for women.

It was great to spend a day talking with and learning from, other women (and a few men) deeply interested in photography.

As I’m in the process of establishing myself in the field, I greatly appreciated the discussions on marketing and business skills, the conversations with other female photographers (some aspiring, some long time veterans, some simply storing moments on their smartphones), the ability to test Tamron lenses, and the workshops (the commercial one was neat to observe and I got a few great shots of the engaged couple outdoors). Plus, it was lots of fun to visit the infamous Southfork Ranch in Dallas. However, what really stuck with me the most was the conclusion to Sue Bryce’s talk on her career, her craft, and her perspective on photography.

All wealth, all opportunity, all success, comes from gratitude. – Sue Byrce

Gratitude.

Something seemingly fragile and vulnerable, but extremely powerful.

Sue’s sentiment really resonated with me.

Whether you thank your partner, your friends, your family, your boss, yourself, your doctors, your teachers, your mentors, a particular deity or religious guide, fate, karma, luck, an institution/organization, or something else entirely – I’ve found it often true that who we are, where we are, and what we’ll become, is often supported and influenced by forces/people/things, beyond ourselves.

It can be hard to say thank you, because by saying thank you, we’re also acknowledging that we couldn’t achieve something without another’s efforts. Or sometimes, at least in my case, I feel undeserving of the help/resources/support of another, and while it’s not as hard to appreciate them for their assistance, it’s hard to appreciate that I’m not any less of me/less human for acknowledging that I needed and benefited from their help.

Gratitude, like so many emotions, can be complex – and then…

sometimes it’s really, really simple.

Just two words:

thank you.

So, thank you to everyone (including you, readers) who:

– listened to me

– loved me

– hugged me, held me, kissed me

– carried me

– helped me

– made me believe in myself

– made me feel when feeling was hard

– made me work when working was hard

– made me play when playing was hard

– made me communicate when communicating was hard

– held my hand while I waited

– taught me

– gave me tools or experience

– brought me closer to a goal or dream

– let me be me

and everything in between.

I can only hope that in this lifetime, I’m able to come close to reciprocating the enormous gifts you’ve given to me.

Love, Sarah

The Mini-Adventures of Winnie the Pooh

This is just a small bit to share, but I came across these mini- clips of the Adventures of Winnie the Pooh.

They really make me smile. I hope you enjoy them too. 🙂

 

Longer posts to come soon.

Thanks for reading!

S

 

Constant Compression

Hi Guys,

I’ve started a sister blog to chronicle my experiences relative to my back injuries. You can find it here: Constant Compression

I have lots of thoughts, feelings and experiences to share on the topic and decided it would make sense to consolidate them in one place. I’ll continue to post related musings on Regulardaze, but for the majority of my back-centric commentary, please check out Constant Compression.

Thanks for reading,

S

When I think I’ve Lost You

When I think I’ve lost you

I’m a frantic cliff climber

trying to grab hold of any semblance

of solid ground

or anchoring post,

in returning to (or near) the summit.

When I think I’ve lost you

I’m a desperate version of myself

grappling for sanity

praying for clarity,

seeking relief

craving resolution.

When I think I’ve lost you

I poll the sources

I retreat inside

in search of answers,

in search of hope.

Faltering in my vulnerability

facing regrets and misunderstandings,

gingerly, I collect the pieces and

attempt to revisit

sometimes recreate

what we had,

when I think I’ve lost you.

Better We

In the age of i-this and me before you,

how different can we really be?

And when did “we” become “me”?

I don’t want to be

another mouthpiece for mediocrity.

Different; unique.

Let me be free

from the (in)visible binds of society.

Not alone,

though possibly lonely.

My best self,

a better me.

I want to see

a vision of existence in clarity.

I’ll do the work

make the plans

take the bets

dance full time in a marching band

if only to be

a better me.

A me without i’s

traversing my own trail

but with you;

navigating together.

A better us

each free of i’s, back to we.

Will write soon

Hi,

Life is a bit overwhelming right now.

More to come on that, and other musings, soon.

Hope you are well.

Always,
Sarah

Sourcing Self

Sometimes

I’m a stranger to my mind –

Neural pathways unfamiliar

Synapses startling.

I think I’m thinking,

but its quiet, a shapeless cotton,

from ear to ear.

What to do

when me

feels like a you.

Bring me back

to the path of least resistance

the true force of existence,

my mind.

Create songs of theory

truths of feeling

and memories,

oh the memories.

Let me think.

Sometimes

I’m a stranger to my body –

Limbs flailing

Heart racing.

I make to move

but it’s an anvil, mechanical,

from toe to shoulder blade.

What to do

when me

feels like a you.

Bring me back

to the path of least resistance

the true force of existence,

my body.

Create steps with direction

sweat of passion

and pleasure,

oh the pleasure.

Let me live.